consent a year and a half ago

A year and a half ago outside the San Diego Zoo i overheard a loud exchange of verbal accusations.  i turned to look and saw a husband and wife arguing.  i was walking in front of them and decided to slow down to let them catch up after hearing the woman tell the man not to be angry.  He replied back to her that he would continue to be angry.

Most people would not involve themselves in a discussion of this sort but my advocates training kicked in when i asked him "Why Angry?" as they caught up to me.  He replied that he liked to win and being angry helped him win.  i asked him why he liked to win and he said because it made him feel good.  i asked if he ever wondered how those he was angry at felt and he said he didn't care how they felt because he had won.
i suggested that winning wasn't necessarily going to make his life better and in fact might make it less harmonious.  i suggested that maybe it might make the other person less apt to help him and more apt to try and thwart his efforts.  i asked him if he didn't think that gaining her consent would accomplish more than just winning.  He claimed he was like a peacock needing to display.



We talked a whole lot more about how to gain consent, and what it meant to have an equal say during an argument when the woman said you know it is Sunday.  i hadn't thought at all about what day it was, i don't normally give sermons, i just wanted to diffuse something that looked like it was going to explode. After talking for quite a while, the man said, you know you have made me look at this differently  I'm going to have to think about this in more depth.  His wife thanked me and so did the man as we all walked off smiling.  As i walked away i thought to myself i hope he understands that his beauty and happiness lies deep within his behavior.

Problems arrive in order to push us toward making choices voluntarily.  Rousing people from their apathy or anger to get them to think may sometimes seem to come into conflict with a loving attitude.  Preventing one from hurting another is a loving thing to do.  Remaining silent when those around you may need you to interfere prolongs injustice.  Next time you see a situation where you can make a difference, don't walk away from it, engage as politely as you can.

And now for one of my goofy poems that should be read like a run on sentence.  i wrote this after having a conversation with my mom.

its not roe or caviar                               

ovoid shaped food
laid by a female
and eaten for millennia
is in the news,
maybe the small rodents
left behind salmonella
in their
poop, or
bigger flapping entities
may have been sick
and left behind salmonella
in their eggs, maybe
the feathered
creatures have
eaten unhealthy foodstuffs
that contained salmonella, so
now we don't want to
eat the white spheroid
shapes resting in cardboard
and plastic
cartons in our refrigerator,
we don't want to
get sick, but we don't
want to waste either
its not roe or caviar
you know, so
toss it.

The picture to the right is one i took looking into the pool.  It is natures example of an ant colony working together to stay alive.  If you double click on it you will see that they have land in the shape of the leaf and they have a food source, the wasp at the bottom.  They link their legs to stay afloat and can do this for as long as it takes to find solid ground.  Ants are fascinating creatures but not when they are invading your home.  These Crazy Harry(hairy) Ants are taking over St. Croix and their resilience just astounds me.

Where your taxes go

Guess what, we always say we are number one in the world for all sorts of things, but did you know we are NUMBER ONE in the world for incarcerating people?  Iran, Russia and China pull up behind us in the number per capita that are in jail.

"The United States' incarceration rate is, according to official reports, the highest in the world, at 754 persons imprisoned per 100,000 (as of 2008). 

A report released in 2008 indicates that in the United States more than 1 in 100 adults is now confined in an American jail or prison. The United States has 4% of the world's people and 25% of the world's incarcerated population."

HALF of all persons incarcerated under state jurisdiction are for non-violent offenses which costs YOU the taxpayer from $18,000 to $33,000 per year to keep them in jail.  Every year, tens of thousands of nonviolent, productive, otherwise law-abiding citizens are locked in cages with the most dangerous criminals in our society for marijuana convictions.  In fifteen states you can get life in prison for simple marijuana possession if you are a habitual offender and only six years for murder.  In California the average sentence for a convicted murderer is 3.3 years.

Here is another one for ya: "U.S. military spending has risen to nearly half of the global total, but the U.S. share of global output is eroding steadily as other economies grow faster." Korb and Thomson

    "Of all the enemies to public liberty war is, perhaps, the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other. War is the parent of armies; from these proceed debts and taxes … known instruments for bringing the many under the domination of the few.… No nation could preserve its freedom in the midst of continual warfare."— James Madison, Political Observations, 1795

The UN was set up to promote peace among nations through cooperation and collective security.  Its annual budget is 1.8% of the worlds military budget and even with all its problems it is grossly underfunded.  The entire world spends more on their militaries rather than contribute to international cooperation and peace.  No wonder we can't enjoy a level of security that we all should demand in this era. The reason we aren't secure is we won't pay for peace but we will pay for war. 

Defense spending increases during economic turmoil.  Some $2.4 trillion, or 4.4%, of the global economy "is dependent on violence", according to the Global Peace Index.   If only the world understood that peace delivers economic prosperity and stability maybe more would contribute to a world that is good for business.

Between spending on the prisons and the military as long as we are controlled by our fears we will fail to see how wasted our tax dollars are.  War(the drug war and the war on terror)and the machinations behind them will prevail.  Massive military spending does not lead to peace.  Incarcerating non violent prisoners does not lead to safety.  We see this every day and yet we continue to believe in failed policies.

When we invest in ourselves peace and safety are results that will benefit all.  Start evaluating where your tax dollars go, stop complaining about poor people and start investing in peace.  Join me in supporting the creation of a Peace Department. Just click on the button above to get involved.

socialized beachs

California is known all over the world for its splendid beaches.  Miles of sand beckon the walker, swimmer, tide pool explorer, surfer , bike rider and sun worshipers.  The ocean's allure affects everyone and on a sunny day the beach is packed.

The one thing i look forward to every year when i visit San Diego is walking the beach.  i can go for miles and miles watching the ocean, searching for treasure, or just people watching.  i drive there early every morning to enjoy a little bit of solitude and connection with an element that i need to soothe my soul.

i've been fortunate to meet interesting people that also share and love the beach and that is the topic for today.

Coastal communities all over the nation devote considerable resources to providing access for everyone.  All up and down the east coast, west coast and the gulf region Americans enjoy the beach. They pack up their families, picnic baskets, umbrellas and join millions of others all over the country for a day at the beach.  No one thinks about this in terms of shared value or shared assets, its just there.

Californians pay taxes to keep the beach clean, pay lifeguards to save them when in distress and provide public bathrooms and water fountains.  Most beach goers never think that without a communal regard for creating space that all can enjoy we would not be allowed on them.

Pure capitalism would allow each edifice that was built along the shore to extend fences down to the waterline.  Only the people owning those properties would be allowed to enjoy the spit of sand in front of their home, hotel or club.  People wanting access would have to pay for the right to enjoy the beach inside the fences.


i call our beaches "Socialized Beachs" and thank goodness so many of us want to keep them just the way they are.  We all pay for the right to use them but imagine if you couldn't.  What would San Diego be like without socialized beaches?

All up and down, what is known here as the Strand there could be fences breaking it up.  You wouldn't be allowed to walk uninterrupted because all those property owners would want to keep you off.  So remember, the next time you complain about paying taxes consider those socialized beachs and parks and thank your lucky stars that pure capitalism didn't prevail.

Proposition 8

Finally a clear sunny day in "sunny California".  Almost the entire time i have been here the weather has been horrible.  Every morning i awake to fog that fails to burn off, temperatures in the mid to high 60's, and a chill that means a sweater has to be part of one's daily wardrobe.
i took my mom for a long drive along the southern California coast yesterday so we could both enjoy the sunny weather.  When we got back two men were getting out of a Van with a sign that said "We Won" and a big cartoonish looking paper mache head that one of them put on.  i wondered what they won and soon found out when i got on line and saw the ruling by Judge Vaughn Walker in San Francisco.

Proposition 8 fails to advance any rational basis in singling out gay men and lesbians for denial of a marriage license. Indeed the evidence shows Proposition 8 does nothing more than enshrine in the California constitution the notion that opposite sex couples are superior to same sex couples. Because California has no interest in discriminating against gay men and lesbians, and because Proposition 8 prevents California from fulfilling its constitutional obligation to provide marriages on an equal basis, the court concludes that Proposition 8 is unconstitutional.

The gay and lesbian center is just below my mom's apartment and it was ablaze with celebration.  Where two days before they had been handing out food, yesterday they were ecstatic.  The mayor and other legislators made an appearance to speak before the young, the old, the infirm and the disenfranchised.  Yesterday, the possibility to be treated equally got closer to reality.

i of course dashed over when i saw the parade.  i wanted to give my support and was fortunate to meet two immaculately groomed men who had gotten married to each other after 20 years of living together.  One was holding a photo of their wedding day which had occurred two years ago when California passed the marriage law.  i asked them if after Prop. 8 passed did it affect the legality of their marriage.  They said no, that they were a unique group of 18,000 couples whose marriage was legal even with the Proposition.  They were jubilant about the ruling and questioned why anyone would think their marriage could threaten someone elses.

i asked if anyone had ever proven that a same sex marriage had made a heterosexual marriage any less valuable.  They both laughed and said that was the million dollar question that no one could answer.

i took the picture behind the fence because the wall is still up for many people. This ruling is the beginning of a long, long battle.  As more people focus on equality and not sex maybe these men and women who turned out yesterday will be given the rights they deserve.

help locally

The buses air brakes squealed as it pulled into the stop to disgorge more riders equipped with shopping carts, back packs and reusable shopping bags, some had brought folding chairs.  The line of people  extended around the block and down the alley.

It was nine o'clock yesterday morning and the procession was moving forward at a snails pace.  The church bells were counting off the hour, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong and life was supposedly normal all around the crowds waiting on University Ave.

They had started lining up at 7:30am for the food.  Free food that was being distributed by the gay and lesbian community center .  These were not street people, these were ordinary everyday people from all walks of life lining up for food.  Young and old alike waited patiently for their turn to be served the bulk food they would take home.  i watched from the balcony of my mom's apartment.

It made my heart ache.  i'd just finished reading GregMortenson's book "Stones into Schools" and was half way through "Half the Sky" by Nicholas Kristof.  Both books highlighted the plight of women in third world countries and the importance of helping them.

A heavy emphasis is put on educating children, especially young girls and women in third world countries.  Research has illuminated a parallel between improved living conditions and womens education, for women are the spreaders of good will.

But what about local needs, here we are faced with a need that is right in our face.  Hundreds and hundreds of men and women lined up waiting for food.  It made me wonder if we took the foreign aid we spend on guns and weapons and put it into this country if that vision would still be a reality. 

Why were so many lining up?  What was happening in their lives that they found it necessary to line up on a Tuesday morning to get free food?  And my final question, how many other communities all across the nation was this happening in regularly?

Spreading good will is important but we have major problems of our own that need to be addressed.  We want to go out and help those less fortunate in other countries but we don't want to focus too much attention on problems here at home.  The soup kitchens, the homeless, the people living at or below the poverty level, the hungry, the uneducated, the battered and raped, and the crime.  Those problems are there staring us in the face daily.

i've been walking on the beach in the mornings with a woman that has a fifteen year old son.  She was talking about sending him off to another country to help out and learn some valuable lessons.  My response was why wait, we have huge problems here that he could volunteer and learn from.

Living here in San Diego has been a wake up call for me.  Daily i see homeless pushing shopping carts, others dragging huge plastic bags full of cans and bottles to turn in for money, and now those waiting for food.  Life is not good for a lot of people in the small area i traverse and it breaks my heart every day.

A lot of us, myself included, are incredibly lucky to lead charmed lives.  Giving back takes so little time, please consider how you can help out locally for it will make a difference.

The banner in the first picture says
"Reflect on yourself, Connect with others, Affect the world"  I think that last section should say affect your town first, then the world.