Listen

There is a movie out on DVD called "August Rush" and it is a dripper. It is about a boy who had been put up for adoption at birth and had found himself listening to the music of the world around him. He heard everything and internalized it.

August believed that he could hear his parents and that if he could just figure out how to play the music he heard surrounding him in his life back to them they would find him. You may have to be a bit of the dreamer to enjoy this movie, someone who can suspend logic long enough just to be entertained, but it is worth it.

The movie did have an aura of the fairy tale, even at times way over the top with fantastical events that couldn't happen in real life. The screenwriter used a lot of creative license, but you know what, sometimes we just want the impossible to happen and it does in this movie in a good way. Plus the music is really really good.

My favorite parts were the scenes of August Rush just listening to everything, you could see him palpably connecting with his mother and father and they with him even though no one had ever met or spoken.

His life is a symphony of sound that impacts every one of the actions he takes. He commits to that sound because he understands that it is the path to being "Found". He fears not. He doesn't let the disease of fear stop him. His self confidence allows him to do things others think he can't do but he stamps out the hesitation before it stops him. He believes in being found, he knows that being found is his destiny even with all the other paths blocking his way to that eventual reunion.

Frequently he stops whatever he is doing just to listen and connect and that is where we are today.

Listening and connecting.

How many times have you half heartedly listened to another person speak? Barely containing yourself because your point of view was much more important than theirs, or your story was more detailed, funny and needing telling, needing telling so much that you interrupt the original speaker?

Huh?

Fess up!

We have all done it....interrupted someone so we could tell our story.

Communication and connection occur when each of us learns how to decode the others mode of transference. Talkers need listeners, they seek them out and listeners need talkers, sometimes listeners would rather listen than speak and talkers would rather talk than listen. In this respect we each need the other and the interaction is mutually beneficial, but not always.

Apparently there are three ways of listening, combative, passive and active. Which explains why there is a difference between "hearing the words" and "hearing the message". When we "hear the message" it is as if we have become that person. We have actively tried to understand what the message is and even if we don't agree with the message we understand it on the other persons terms, comprehending their feelings and their intent, for many times the surface words are not the entire message.

People use codes to deliver messages to other people. They use words and body language, they use music, literature, touch and emotion. Some use language while others use non verbal devices

A passive listener is one who listens to the story but stays passive and doesn't verify it.
A combative listener is one who waits for an opportunity or opening to take the floor.
While an active listener verifies what they have heard and shows a genuine interest in the topic and understanding it before they respond.

Are you looking for that opening to attack? Do you really listen or do you have to work at listening? Are you half there when someone else is talking or do you engage completely?

These are questions all of us should ask.

What kind of listener's are we? What are our codes? Do others have trouble understanding us or do we care?

If we all tried to listen the way August Rush did maybe our differences would recede and our commonalities would become more prominent. We could connect on a different level.

And so, remember, we can all connect even with those we don't really listen to.