open arms

In the Virgin Islands we have a stairway that usually leads to the main entrance of the great house. Many refer to the shape of the stairway as one of open arms and are known locally as "welcoming arms."

These stairways reflect the beauty and grace of these islands. They begin wider at the bottom with curves like open arms welcoming all. Unfortunately, in the beginning, these stairways belonged to the owners of slaves and they did not "welcome all."

The United States of America began this way. Opening up its vast stretches of land to all who wanted a new way of life. One free of the restrictions they wanted to escape. "Empathy" helped the birthing of democracy in this land, that ability to "walk in another's shoes." Our laws were created from an understanding of empathy and the trials and tribulations that had gone on in other countries and our own that we didn't want to continue to repeat. We had a steep learning curve that we still do battle with. Our laws continue to evolve as we learn more about humanity and the way we all interact.

Today we find the word empathy mixed up with the word "emotional" and "feelings" as a negative attribute. "Emotional" dominates the airwaves and empathy now means the word emotion almost exclusively. Emotion is a negative word these days.

Sampling another's feelings, understanding them, walking in their shoes does not mean you "sympathize" with them.

Empathy means your understanding has another layer.

Our country's laws would not be what they are today without those original drafters of the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution having some form of empathy. Empathy is not racism. Empathy is the ability to walk in another's shoes which is sorely lacking in this country today.

So the next time you read or hear the word "empathy" see if you are being played and it is all about "emotion" and "feelings" instead of "walking in another's shoes."

Remember "empathy" means you have another layer of understanding....not sympathy.