Thanksgiving is tomorrow!

Holidays can be stressful times for those hosting the festivities and those joining the party with lofty expectations. Family time can run the full gamut of relaxation, adventure, laughter and fun to bouts of unexpected misunderstandings. It is the misunderstandings, those times that come unannounced and unanticipated that can wreck havoc with the party.

Albert Sweitzer had a lovely quote about misunderstandings:

"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate."

Many times the misunderstanding is related to a failure to communicate appropriately. One or the other may have thought they were listening. Thought they understood what had passed between both of the parties involved in the failure to understand. Thought they had explained themselves perfectly in a logical manner, only the end result was really one participant just trying to defend their own point of view? Was one talking when they should have been listening? Was one listening too much and not having an opportunity to explain?

We all need to be understood and listened to, not just heard. Hearing and really listening are two different activities. When we listen so hard that what we have heard is offensive it is time to take a deep breath before responding with some diatribe we wish later we hadn't replied with.

Sometimes coming back with a positive emotional response can diffuse the situation. We humans are all emotional beings and respond positively when our psyches are stroked. We all have gut feelings when misunderstood. we fight back without thinking or we enter a zone detached from the verbal acrobatics. We put up our defenses, we ignore the words hoping they will go away and the attack will stop.

Think about the relationships between members of a family during this holiday. They should be mutually beneficial and not simply relationships of provider and consumer. We need family to survive even when we misunderstand each other. It is important to get over the impasse as fast as possible so it doesn't grow a thick moldy crust that can't be touched. Get over it tomorrow, move on, don't brood or yell if you are involved in any misunderstandings.

When we are joined with each other in mutual actions of eating and drinking....think of the trust and affection, care and responsibility we can retain as members of the human family by taking an extra moment before reacting.

"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate."

Happy Thanksgiving