a square is a rectangle but a rectangle is not a square

In the 1950's, we had vision, we built the interstate highway system, linking all our states together. It has a total length of 46,876 miles (75,440 km),^[1] making it both the largest highway system in the world and the largest public works project in history.  The distribution of virtually all goods and services involves Interstate Highways at some point.^[5]Our government did this to benefit everyone all across America. 

The highest tax rate back then was 90% and the rich anted up.  Many today would say it was to their detriment but was it?  

No.

Have you ever considered how many companies all across this nation have benefitted financially from the use of those roads.  Interstate commerce exploded, without those highways most companies would never have grown as large as they have. 

One thing never considered in the tax cutting mania is how our infrastructure has suffered.   All across the country roads, bridges, rail lines, airports, sewers and water systems etc. need repair to keep us competitive with China which has built 40 high speed rail lines to our one in California.  China is investing in its future while we let everything rot and fail to plan for ours.

Today, we don't want our taxes to raise because we are short sighted.  We don't see Universal Health Care, high speed rail transit or anything else as being beneficial to all companies that compete against each other.  We don't see a healthy workforce as one that can keep our economy competitive with others around the world.  We don't see investment in infrastructure as a positive, instead we fight to keep the nation at a disadvantage.

This is what I think but many on the other side of the aisle disagree with me. 

So.

How do we talk to those that don't agree with us, how do we use empathy to communicate?

Would some form of nonviolent communication allow us all to further discussion even in times where the hatred is palatable?

We all have the inclination to defend ourselves, withdraw from communication, or attack when we perceive we have been criticized or wronged.  This happens daily in our political discourse and our failure to listen to any side.  Winning no longer means wining the argument it means damaging the country, damaging the family, damaging our troops, and increasing taxes. 

The offender who delivered the criticism may have been direct or shrouded his criticism in language meant to disguise the attack.  Nevertheless, it was delivered and it was unwelcome.  But was our reaction to this unwelcome exchange one that could further understanding or end it?

Today the conversation ends far too frequently without any resolution.

I've been reading a lot about nonviolent communication and the use of empathy to diffuse situations that could develop into violent outcomes.  The thing to remember is that empathy does not mean sympathy, empathy is trying to understand the other person or the other side and their feelings.  You don't have to agree or disagree with them you just have to try and understand. 

Today understanding the other side is lacking and the divisiveness is getting nastier and nastier.
                                           
Marshall B. Rosenburg works all over the world to train and educate people on the benefits of non violent communication.  His website http://www.cnvc.org goes into much more detail about the methods he uses and how to get training.  While examining his site i came across the use of four words that are key to keeping the lines of communication open.

The first word, observation, is something we all do when we communicate.  Each of us observes the other to try and understand them without actually evaluating or judging them.  From that first observation we move on to how we feel about the interchange.  Did it make us angry, happy or a host of other feelings we need to recognize before we proceed.  The third word is need and how our needs have been affected by the other persons discourse.  With the fourth word being request.

What is it we want done?  What is it we want that would change things?

These four words, observation, feeling, needs and request can be used in both directions.  You can use it to get your needs acknowledged or you can use it to acknowledge the needs of someone else that you may have been misunderstanding.  The four words are so easy to remember that the time it takes to activate them in your mind can make the difference between an uncomfortable encounter and a really positive one.

But now I'm getting back to the tax issue.  Both sides of the political animal, that we call our government, act to the detriment of the nation as a whole.  Today there is gridlock in Congress.   We have two wars draining the tax base, we have unemployed people draining the tax base, we have corporate welfare and regular welfare, medicaid etc. draining the tax base, along with a host of other departments draining the tax base. Nothing gets done, neither side can move their reforms forward.  So how would non violent communication change the dynamics in Congress?

Who knows but something has to give or we will jettison this whole country into third world status real soon.

I cut and pasted these 10 simple steps from the non violent communication website.


These methods can be used in all types of environments from the home, the work place, politics to international disputes.

The most simple tactic in communicating is listening first to what the other person is trying to express.  We need both sides to listen to the needs of the other side.  It can't be a lopsided endevor with one side trying and the other side grandstanding.  Both sides have to be willing to come to the table in good faith.

If we can do that with our Conservative and Liberal friends maybe it can happen in Congress too.

We can try out Rosenburg's list in our daily lives.  Try it in your living room.  Try it with your friends that don't agree with you.  If we can do it, our representatives in government can too.


(1) Spend some time each day quietly reflecting on how we would like to relate to ourselves and others.

(2) Remember that all human beings have the same needs.

(3) Check our intention to see if we are as interested in others getting their needs met as our own.

(4) When asking someone to do something, check first to see if we are making a request or a demand.

(5) Instead of saying what we DON'T want someone to do, say what we DO want the person to do.

(6) Instead of saying what we want someone to BE, say what action we'd like the person to take that we hope will help the person be that way.

(7) Before agreeing or disagreeing with anyone's opinions, try to tune in to what the person is feeling and needing.

(8) Instead of saying "No," say what need of ours prevents us from saying "Yes."

(9) If we are feeling upset, think about what need of ours is not being met, and what we could do to meet it, instead of thinking about what's wrong with others or ourselves.

(10) Instead of praising someone who did something we like, express our gratitude by telling the person what need of ours that action met.

The Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC) would like there to be a critical mass of people using Nonviolent Communication language so all people will get their needs met and resolve their conflicts peacefully.
2001, revised 2004 Gary Baran & CNVC. The right to freely duplicate this document is hereby granted.

other...self

Humanity is a broad term that includes every living human being on planet earth.  The word lumps us all into one category without distinction.  Squared is that multiplied by itself and it can never be a negative. 

Other means you need a self to define it, for other is nothing without self. 

When you see yourself as consisting of either self or other you have created a barrier which you continue to patch through out life.  When you see yourself as self and other you break the wall down.

The web of life connects us, we can stretch it, pull it, shape it and mold it but ultimately we all must leave it.

The question is how do we want to leave it?

"The one who gives up cultivating the moral force when no instant effect can be seen is like one who farms but would not tend to the weeds."  Mencius

I'll leave you with those few short sentences for they deserve a lot of thought.
                   
Today is a picture day. 
This past weekend was the Agriculture Fair. 
Can you guess what those 4 items are?

 

  

i love the Ag Fair.  It is one of my favorite things to do on St. Croix.  The food, the people,the exhibits, the animals, they bring us together to share what we love about living here.

sunrise...sunset

There was a question posed on a blog i was reading yesterday that stuck with me.
The question was why are so many Americans passive while millions lose their homes, their jobs, their families, their hopes for justice and the American Dream?

Why aren't we like the Europeans who congregate en mass on the streets and demand answers and change? Where did our fighting spirit go the article asked?

The causes for this passivity were five fold, a crisis of ethics and a lack of concern for our fellow citizens, the dying of the economic dream, economic desperation and the erosion of families, isolation from each other, and the drugging of America.

The drugging of America had an immediate impact on my mind as i thought about how our nation is drugged.  Are we asleep at the wheel, working too hard, taking too many anti-depressants that numb the fact that our media has been complicit in the "dumbing down" of America? 

Are anti-depressants the SOMA pills of our world, leaving those drugged little time to use their critical thinking skills.  Could it be that is why so many were deluded into thinking Iraq was a threat to our National Security.

But are we really passive, are we really drugged as badly as those in "A Brave New World?"  i think not.

Voters in Oregon shook the bars of their cages and did fight back recently, they refused to raise money by cutting teachers, firefighters, homeless shelters, etc. Instead, they decided to tax incomes over $250,000 a year and add an even higher tax on incomes over $500,000 a year. They also raised a tax on corporations, all things unheard of in the past twenty years.

The unconquered take risks all the time.  They do battle with those trying to subdue them, they use various tactics and voting is a powerful one.

The unconquered are everywhere, all over the world.  They fight quietly and loudly for reform.  They fight for everyone, for change happens incrementally. 

One overlooked aspect the unconquered use is forgiveness, it is a human condition that the perpetrators of violence and other injustices have no weapon against.

"There is a tendency to think that what we see in the present moment will continue. We forget how often we have been astonished by the sudden crumbling of institutions, by extraordinary changes in people's thoughts, by unexpected eruptions of rebellion against tyrannies, by the quick collapse of systems of power that seemed invincible." Howard Zinn

Using military might, death squads, prisons and other forms of violence and propaganda to subdue people usually fails in the end.  Yes, there are massive die offs, but the "conquerors" eventually lose power and the unconquered regain their prominence. 

Today we are still waging war all over the world.  The "war on terror" and the "war on drugs" means we have a hand in almost every country that exists on our planet.  And yet, there are those of us that believe there is a different way to battle these fires.  That the struggle for justice must include the invocation of peaceful methods.

Teddy Roosevelt gave a speech in 1910 at the Sorbonne which included this passage.

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

Those who have appeared in that arena in recent memory include Aung San Suu Kyi,  
Nelson Mandela and Martin Luther King.  They never gave up their fight even with the threat of overwhelming power.  They pushed on, they convinced others to join them, and they created that incremental change.
 

i don't think Americans have become passive.  There are too many unconquered out there that have found new methods and ways to communicate ideas that are beneficial to large numbers of inhabitants of this planet.

For me personally, i want to know who we are fighting a war with in Afghanistan? Why are we spending billions on a band of a few thousand cave-dwelling extremists with no air force, no navy, no missiles, no helicopters, no tanks and no heavy artillery.   And why are we still in Iraq?   

i haven't given up believing we should be out of both of those countries, i haven't been made passive and neither should you.

allegory of the cave

So often the writing i get involved with begins with a word that embeds itself upon my brain a few days before i post.  This week the word has been shadow.  

Before my dogs departed part of our routine would be to take a walk at night after dinner.  We all loved and looked forward to walking in the dark.  The air was cool, the evening's quiet, they could go off their leash and i could think.  Some nights, when the moon was up it would cast beautiful shadows upon the dirt road.  Shadow nights i don't use my light and always find myself stopping to enjoy some phenomenal patterns placed in my way.  Everything is illuminated in a special way in the dark and many times i'd find myself connecting with the images and mulling over the shadows in our lives. 

As usual, when it comes to writing, something has caused me to delve deeper into shadows.
i remembered that Dr. Carl Jung, the psychologist, believed we all had shadows.  He thought that when we saw something in another person that we didn't like it was a shadow of ourselves, that needed acknowledgment.  If we didn't confront it the denial would lay heavy upon our souls.

Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is
embodied in the individual's conscious life,
the blacker and denser it is.
At all counts, it forms an unconscious snag,
thwarting our most well-meant intentions.

But this isn't really the journey i was meant to explore today so this morning while reading an e-mail newsletter concerning philosophy a link caught my eye and off i traveled to investigate Plato and the nature of justice.  My first stop had nothing to do with the word shadow but the second stop did.  For it lead me to Plato's piece on the Allegory of the Cave.

i have always meant to read the Republic but to date haven't.  So i get Plato in small doses and this morning it was very small.  The Allegory of the Cave can be read in five or ten minutes on line(scroll down to where the conversation starts).  i was going to reproduce it here in totality but i found an excellent short (3 minute) video done using clay figures that illustrate Plato's lesson  so if you don't read it on line, watch the video.
You really should do one or the other if you are not already familiar with it.

In the Allegory of the Cave,  Plato insinuates that we are prisoners, not of Form(ideas) but of shadows .  We perceive much in our every day lives and yet are blinded by our limited realities, knowledge may be nothing but a shadow. 

All of us have the ability to think outside our caves but we are blinded by the nature of our upbringing, the chains of our immediate society.

Plato's story has prisoners being held in one position, unable to turn their heads, since birth.  They are facing a wall upon which the shadows of those passing behind them are cast.  The shadows are created by a fire that is lit and placed behind the prisoners. 

In the cave there is a walkway between the prisoners and the fire that is used by people, animals and the objects they both carry as they make their way across.  Sounds that the people and animals make echo in the cave and become attached to the shadows on the wall.  The prisoners only reality is the shadows they observe and the echos they hear.

One day a prisoner is brought out into the light and is freed from his limited world view.  He is blinded by the sun but finally recovers his sight and takes in everything.  The prisoner can now see he was living in a world of trickery.  He sees the sun and understands where the light comes from.  His life time illusion has been shattered and he goes back to the cave to inform the other prisoners, only they can't hear him.  He is but another echo blending in with all the other echos.

Unfortunately the other prisoners can't escape the reality of the cave.  Their view is limited and they can't hear the returning prisoner, or his truths.  The returning prisoner has been given a gift that he wants to pass on but he can't, for the prisoners in the cave misunderstand his message.  They only know the shadows, that is their reality, they can't see that knowledge is available.

Plato throughout his life believed that the world revealed by our senses is not the real world but only a poor copy of it, and that the real world can only be apprehended intellectually;

Plato's idea that knowledge cannot be transferred from teacher to student, but rather that education consists in directing student's minds toward what is real and important and allowing them to apprehend it for themselves was one he put great store in.

 He was also convinced that enlightened individuals have an obligation to the rest of society, and that a good society must be one in which the truly wise (the Philosopher-King) are the rulers.
To date we haven't had this kind of ruler but we have had examples of the possibilities.

Plato did believe, as I do, and had faith that the universe and all of us in it are ultimately good.

In the region of the knowable the last thing to be seen, and that with considerable effort, is the idea of good; but once seen, it must be concluded that this is indeed the cause for all things of all that is right and beautiful – in the visible realm it gives birth to light and its sovereign; in the intelligible realm, itself sovereign, it provided truth and intelligence – and that the man who is going to act prudently in private or in public must see it" (517b-c).Plato

And so in the Allegory of a Cave Plato encourages us to throw off the chains that bind us in our caves.
Open up to that which you won't consider for it may be the shadow you are denying.

i don't know if you have ever read the "Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe" but Douglas Adams comes up with some whoppers and i'm going to end with this one.

"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened."