craving chocolate

Pound Plus, imported from Belgium, sits on my Mom's coffee table.  The package says it is made exclusively for Trader Joe's in a small town outside of Antwerp by confectionery artisans known for producing the finest chocolate in the world.

To put it lightly, i've been addicted since a piece landed in my mouth.  This chocolate is so good that letting it slowly melt in your mouth is an ongoing delight.  Letting it linger allows the flavor to develop and explode.  Any thoughts of restraint go out the window as long as there is more available for consumption.

The benefits of eating this chocolate is that it makes me happy and i have no desire to restrict myself as long as it is available.  i rationalize this because when i leave San Diego i won't have access.

Your probably wondering what craving delicious chocolate has to do with this post today.  Well it has to do with happiness.  It has to do with how the decisions we all make affect others and ourselves.  It has to do with the on going struggle we all have to do the right thing. It has to do with how we all stress over our selfish desires as opposed to someone else's life.

And it is a struggle.  i'm struggling with doing the right thing and doing what i want.  i want to eat the chocolate but is it the right thing?  If i eat too much of the chocolate there won't be any for my mom when she wants to eat it, so i have to control myself.  Is my happiness more important than my mom's?

Controlling impulses when we want something is difficult.  How do we choose instead of reacting because we want to? 

Today we have a whole generation of people who were raised to think of themselves first.  Their needs come first and their wants come first.  i want to know if their lives will be filled with disappointment they won't be able to handle because failure to achieve their wants will affect them more adversely than those taught to delay gratification?

i have wants right now that i can't achieve.  i want to go home to St. Croix but the timing is wrong.  i can get angry, i can mull over it and feel denied but does that make me feel any better?  No, because we all have the ability to deny gratification.  i can choose to be upset about having to stay here or i can choose to take a wait and see attitude.  If i choose the angry path, i'm going to make myself and my mom miserable.  But if i take the wait and see route we can both enjoy a level of tranquility unavailable if i only think of myself.

So looking on the sunny side of continued life in San Diego is the fact that i can eat more chocolate, i can walk the long long beach every morning, i can watch wildlife i don't see at home and maybe interact with people i never imagined, and i can continue to figure out ways to avoid traffic congestion and enjoy spending more time with my mom.

Whoo Hoo....see ya next week.