them

The interesting thing about humanity is that when friends or family are in need, the community they have established around them kicks in to help.  Most often we recognize these behaviors as actions done on a voluntary basis.  No one coerced us to act, no one is paying us to respond, we help to benefit other people in our lives.

 Giving and receiving help has its rewards for all involved.  It reinforces the ties that bind and puts more of an emphasis on community.  This past week a friend has been in need and all around have kicked in to make this particular passage through life a little less traumatic.  It has been a joy to watch all the love, help and support materialize in such a short time.

Things that normally would have taken weeks to accomplish all fell into place and got done 

But this is not the topic of this piece,  today I want to talk about "them."

The dictionary describes them as the objective case of they.  They is described as the plural of he,she or it.  People, men, or women. Them is all of us, all of us human beings that make reference to "them" as if them is from out of space.

i read a piece the other day that was talking about the invasion in Afghanistan and how difficult it is for us here in the US to comprehend what it is we are doing to "them."  The writer asked the readers to try to put the shoe on the other foot.  To understand that we are all "them" to understand that if we were living in a war torn country we would be reacting to our situation exactly as they are.

 When i read the piece it became apparent that we use that word daily in our newspapers, radio's, in our homes, in our politics, in our speech etc. to always describe some "them" that are doing things we don't approve of and don't support.  Upon further research i found that the word them is one of the top twenty words used in every day discourse.

We all refer to "them" or "they" when describing humans that follow different political, religious, or social customs that we don't follow.  Since i don't have much time today, i thought an exercise we could all try may be appropriate.

The next time you use the word "them" negatively, stop yourself.  Imagine yourself as "them".  If it is a boss or co-worker that you are referring to negatively, imagine yourself as them.  Maybe it is the atheist or the Christian or Muslim, maybe it is the Democrat, the Independent or the Republican.  Maybe its the guy down the street whose dog is driving you nuts. Try to get inside their head, take on their job,take on their views, now how would you be acting if you were them?

Can you find any place where you may understand why they act or believe the way they do? Can you find some understanding?  i'm not asking you to accept them, or agree with them, i'm just asking for a little bit of understanding.

We can do this simple exercise every time we think negatively about anyone that doesn't view life the way we do.  We can simplify our reactions and even choose to not be right just for the sake of being right.  We can make a difference in our daily lives and the lives of others with a little understanding.