Self reliance is a myth

Humanity is wired to be dependent, attentive to, and depended upon by others.  The idea that we are self-reliant is a myth.

Human beings start out dependent.  Our introduction to this world is one of dependence; from that first breath, we breach the warmth of the womb and put our lives in someone's hands. 

Our parents housed us, fed us, clothed us, educated us and then launched us forth.  At no point in our lives were we self reliant.  We were dependent even when we thought we weren't.

During our progress from infants to adults we may have obtained part time jobs, made our own breakfasts, lunches and dinners, washed our own clothes and cleaned ourselves up, plus gotten ourselves to school.  We might have cleaned our rooms and even sewed some clothes.  We may have thought we were in some ways self reliant but the important aspects, like a roof over our heads and the bills being paid were usually covered by someone else.

Either through our parents guidance or through a mentor with a church or school we made our personal decision to leave home and went on our merry ways.  We may have thought ah ha, now we are really self reliant.  But, did we become completely self reliant?  Were we dependent solely upon our own decisions or did other people provide some impetus for the changes we made or the roads we traveled.

There is no such thing as a self made man or woman.  Every man and woman has a mother and father that supplied him or her with the beginnings of the future trajectory, regardless of how awful or wonderful they were.  Those parents and mentors laid the ground work for future development.

Consider Bill Gates, where would he have been without Paul Allen or the garage and backing his father supplied.  Gates was sent to an exclusive preparatory school at the age of 13.  That elite school had the wherewithal to buy an ASR-33 teletype terminal and a block of computer time on a General Electric (GE) computer for the school's students.  Bill Gates used that time up and more, he became obsessed with something not many had access to.  That school launched Bill Gates on a trajectory that he still hasn't come down from.

Gates had quite a run but now that he is into philanthropy he has created a think tank where innovative ideas can percolate.  He takes questions from anyone and posts them on-line.  The one that most interested me was this one.

What helped you become a great entrepreneur?

"It's very valuable to have confidence that you can understand something, if you try hard enough. It's easy to get discouraged. Like when you start a business, there are all these financial questions to figure out, with a lot of special terminology. But if you have reasonable math skills, and you seek out the people who can explain these things, it's really not that complicated. You need to be willing to ask, "Hey, what do these things mean?" The real experts are the ones who can explain."

He has no qualms describing his dependance upon others to further his goals.

We are never left completely to our own devices without interacting with other human beings.  Those who's views tend toward the progressive understand that dependance or the appearance of dependance is not a stigma but a fact of life.  One that creates greater possibilities for a better society for all not just some.

Self reliance has nothing to do with dependance.  Self reliance has to do with following your instincts, intuitions and ideas but it doesn't relieve you of dependance when you implement those aspects.  Anything you decide to do correlates with some form of input from those around you.  The student depends upon the university and its teachers, the self taught depends upon those writers that spent time writing down their ideas.  Even Darwin with his research depended upon the sailors, captains and crew to deliver him safely so he could write his dissertation.

Self reliance can never be a goal only a beginning.

We are not alone in this world, we depend upon the farmers to deliver produce and meat to our markets.   We depend upon them to supply our daily fare.  If we can't eat we can't prosper.

Belief in self achievement or the illusion of such is one which needs examining.  Achievement yes, but was it really done by all by yourself with no external input?  Or did one or many in your sphere of influence advance your cause.   The good of the community is quite harmonious with the freedom of the individual to pursue his goal of "self reliance" and "self achievement".

Just yesterday after starting this piece i read an article in the New York Times that dealt with our interactions from a different perspective.  The journalist was reviewing a book that was optimistic about man kinds future and our ability to avoid apocalypse through innovation.  Not many optimistic books make the best seller list but its premise is exciting.

"The extraordinary promise of this event(trading) was that Adam potentially now had access to objects he did not know how to make or find; and so did Oz," Dr. Ridley writes. People traded goods, services and, most important, knowledge, creating a collective intelligence: "Ten individuals could know between them ten things, while each understanding one."

This is such a beautiful description...ten individuals knowing ten things between them, while each understanding one.

"That technological progress, though, was sporadic. Innovation would flourish in one trading hub for a while but then stagnate, sometimes because of external predators — roving pirates, invading barbarians — but more often because of internal parasites, as Dr. Ridley writes:

"Empires bought stability at the price of creating a parasitic court; monotheistic religions bought social cohesion at the expense of a parasitic priestly class; nationalism bought power at the expense of a parasitic military; socialism bought equality at the price of a parasitic bureaucracy; capitalism bought efficiency at the price of parasitic financiers."

We all have the instinct to help each other.  Setting goals is always a desirable trait but realizing that networking will help you reach them faster is not one to be overlooked.  We will move forward as a group, helping without realizing it at times.

So don't fear uncertainty, don't think you have to do it all on your own, go out and ask for help, it is not a disability but a real asset.

And finally i ran across this anonymous quote that really impacted me.  i hope it impacts you too.

"No one who works for a living should be poor."  Unknown