My mom, the atheist, died peacefully

Loved her in her stylish snake skin coat

If you are wondering why i didn't post last week it was because i had to travel out to California suddenly as my mother was ailing.  She died peacefully at the age of 82 early last Monday morning surrounded by family.

What an incredibly lucky woman she was, she knew she had had enough of life and told all those she loved that she was ready to die. She told the doctor straight to his face that she would not be hospitalized any more and was ready to go. She showed no fear, had no pain and died in her sleep just like she always wanted to.  Her three kids and those grandchildren that lived close by were there to help her pass on.

The family cycled in and out of the bedroom for 26 hours, always leaving one in attendance to let her know she was loved and that it was Okay to leave us. Not once did she moan or cry out and when her sisters called from Europe she opened her eyes to acknowledge their voices.

My mom was an atheist, but it took her a very long time to finally embrace it.  All her life she had questioned her Christian upbringing but could never quite let it go because of an over-riding guilt complex that had been instilled at a very young age.  When she was in her 70’s she finally said enough and then claimed it was the most liberating experience she had ever gone through. The day she told someone she was an atheist she said it was like a chain being released from her throat, the freedom was exhilarating.

i’m writing this because i had a friend that told me my mother’s passing would not go well because she hadn’t been saved, but that she still had time and could rectify it.

She always wore that hat

i want to let that friend know that a good death comes without much pain, a good death comes when it takes place in the home with children and family, a good death comes naturally after a long and well-spent life, when the deceased has made peace with loved ones, when they are at peace with themselves and when they are at peace with their own death.

All the things that could have gone wrong didn’t. The whole universe was definitely in our court. It got me to California in time, it stopped the policeman from holding us up when we were clearly breaking the law by driving too fast, and it helped us navigate numerous other incidents that could have snowballed after she passed. Not a one of us practices religion regularly.

Her punk rock hair do and stylish glasses

So for those out there that believe, i just want to say that there is another way that is just as rewarding for the whole family and comes without all the dogma.  If fear is keeping you religious here is a tale that is free of fear but full of love, understanding and a peaceful passing.

i loved my mom and i'm really going to miss her.