emotional honesty

"Openly revealing our feelings establishes credibility" Garry Spence

We are what we feel (so if we pretend to be someone who feels another way, are we committing fraud?).

Some are very good at telling the factual truth, but when it comes to the emotional truth they hide.

They hide, because they don't want to be rejected.

A simple example of emotional honesty is the daily greeting.

"Hey! How are you doing?"

"Fine", is the usual reply.

Why is it we reply, "Fine" even when it isn't exactly how we are feeling? Is it because most don't really want to know how you are feeling and saying "Fine" ends the topic rapidly?

What if instead of "Fine" we said "Darn Good" or "Awful" or "Excellent" or "So,so"?

If you say "Awful" people ask why, they comfort you and try to make you feel better after you have told them that you feel "Awful". You connect in ways that just saying "Fine" doesn't allow.

A few years ago i started saying "Darn Good" when i felt that way. It made everyone laugh and still does. A few friends started adding to it, telling me to say, "Darn Good and i hope you are darn good too". Others would tell me that because i smiled when i said "Darn Good" it made them feel good too, even if they hadn't been feeling "Darn Good".

Emotional honesty can start with the daily greeting. It does not lead to rejection but to connection in ways you might not have imagined.

Try it.