waiting

It is harder for those who guide than for those who act. Those who guide must have patience while those who are supposed to act kick in to gear. Unrealistic expectations during conversation can happen in minds that become conjoined with discussion that never occurred in real life.

When the actual subject is brought up all those imaginary conversations that never happened come screaming back to life only to be dashed against the shore of a reality that never transpired. We all exist first in our minds then in reality. It is no wonder that mankind's reality is so different from what is in his mind.

i'm sitting next to an empty beach, an empty road when a fly buzzes past, noticed and recognized for an instant as the only thing besides oneself that is moving. The wind and sea are both calm. The cars occupant, me, waits and waits for the appointed time to arrive and then pass. A cloud moves and the sun shines through for a brief moment. A rumble starts up from behind, some kind of truck has gotten a flat tire. A dove coo's and headlights appear in the east. A car approaches carrying a friend who waves as he passes by my parked vehicle.

The waiting continues.

A pearly eyed thrasher jumps upon the garishly painted trash can. He looks in, looks around, shakes his head, looks around again and jumps in. Empty. No food and he flies out. Two young West Indian children, maybe ten or twelve years of age with a pit bull on a leash walk past the waiting car. They call out a greeting, "Good Morning" and pass on by.

Long minutes of life have ticked on by. Those minutes are in the past now. i'm still waiting for a friend who is late, who has failed to appear. i'm not bothered, the waiting has been productive. A new course of action will be taken. Swimming alone this morning may be the salvo that is needed at this juncture.

But alas, the wayward friend arrives. Swimming alone will not be.

We interact, we exchange pleasantries, we ready ourselves for the swim. The water is cold and it is hard to start out. We shrivel into ourselves, trying to warm our cores, knowing we are torturing our bodies by not submerging as quickly as possible, then we plunge and swim off.

The water is clear, a deep soothing blue, full of life. i ponder the waiting i had done and look for more life to surround me. The fish comply with my wish and school around me. The waiting was instructive i think to myself as i revel in the company of fish.

Chief Luther Standing Bear once said:

"I am going to venture that the man who sat on the ground in his tipi meditating on life and its meaning, accepting the kinship of all creatures, and acknowledging unity with the universe of things, was infusing into his being the true essence of civilization..."

We all wait for something but forget to stay involved with our surroundings while we wait. Noticing where you are is important to where you are going so consider why you are wasting that waiting time.