Unintended consequences

i don’t know if this is true or not but when growing up my mother claimed that on my father’s side of the family they had a motto on a crest. He told her the motto and said that it was integral to his conduct through out his life.

This motto was never pushed on us as something we had to adhere to…it was just there. We knew it was a family saying, part of some old crest that lived somewhere in our ancient subconscious or his imagination.

When my mother died i found it written in one of her note books with an asterisk and jottings about where it came from.  i decided then i would keep it close.

In the past i think i have written here before about a sign i keep by my computer that says:

“What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not FAIL?

That quote takes up a whole sheet of 8x12 paper and is printed in big black block letters. i have had it there for years and replace it when it looks old and tattered. It resonates with me all the time but has nothing to do with family loyalties or ancient clans. i suppose i could pass it on to my kids as some thing that meant something to me but i don't think i would ever expect them to embrace it as some sort of family heirloom.

At the bottom of this most recent sheet i have copied the family motto out in small hand writing. It is only three words so it doesn’t take up much space.

i look at them both all the time and think about their implications especially today when i was going to write a piece about unintended consequences. 

There is something about the family motto that rubs me the wrong way. i don’t know if it seems as if those living by it felt entitled, or if it is that i don’t believe it. 

i have another quote that is taped onto the big one that says:

“Always forgive your enemies. Nothing infuriates them so” by Oscar Wilde

My father was a prankster. He constantly told tall tales that people would believe were true even though he had made them all up. i remember once he had a girlfriend convinced he raced giraffes. He had names, physical attributes, speed trials, purse wins, track conditions, jockeys and trainers down pat. He told her he raced them in Africa and that they should take a trip there to watch them.

So i take the motto with a grain of salt as my mother advised. He probably read it in his Latin class and absconded with it. But just on the off chance it really is a family motto i wrote it down. And that is the power he had…you never completely knew what was true and what wasn’t because he was a master of mixology. Truth and not truth were one and the same.

Even though you knew he mixed some truth in there you still had to be wary. Which was even more interesting because he was one of the most beloved men around. Everyone and i mean everyone loved him, including me.

So one of the unintended consequences of my father’s story telling is that i am a total skeptic. Which maybe isn’t unintended after all.

Before i tell you what the motto is, i have to write down another quote that speaks to me.

“Again, even honor and virtue make enemies, condemning, as they do, their opposites by too close a contrast.”

i would love it if some cousin could confirm or deny that the following three words are really our tribal saying.

“Virtue alone Ennobles”

See ya next week